Betbot Mock Draft Picks 1-5

Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50’s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob!), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.

The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to help your team with deeper sleepers to start each week.

Now, he’s joining the blogging game. As he says, “It’s about bleeping time!”

The Betbot’s blog is transcribed each week by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls, because, “Typing is a dame’s… BZZZT job.”

We’ll go through the congratulations to me posting a blog later. Suffice to bleeping say – this is a new enterprise for fantasysharks.com and for me. Again, thank you to Mr. Tony Holm for allowing me to spew my wisdom all over your minds. Tony is a good man, a good bleeping man.

The first series of my blogs will be a serialized mock NFL Draft, everyone else is doing it, why not me?

Some rules/assumptions about this mock draft…

- I assume no trades, trades will happen, but for my purposes – no trades.

- My picks are a mix of who I think the best pick is and who I think the organization will take…Depending on the team/circumstance. Most…Bzzzt… picks will be my analysis only, but for those special circumstances, or unorthodox owners (I’m looking at you Al Davis), I may go away from my best pick and take a guy the organization loves (yes, it’s all misinformation t this point…I know).

Let’s get to business here:

1 – Miami Dolphins – Chris Long – DE – Virginia

Look, this pick is going to get traded. But per the above, I gotta stick with the Fins here. Miami needs EVERYTHING…EVERY bleeping THING. I think Jake Long is a real solid choice for Miami wherever they pick to. But I go with the chalk pick here. Chris Long could be a nice bookend for Jason Taylor, assuming he doesn’t become a ballet dancer.

2 – St. Louis Rams – Glenn Dorsey – DT – LSU

I feel good about this one actually happening. Gholston would be a terror on the St. Louis surface, but the Rams need a big body in the middle, and Dorsey fits the bill. A lot of pundits have Carricker going to DE this year with Dorsey in the middle…an excellent front if the Rams do this.

3 – Atlanta Falcons – Jake Long – OT – Michigan

Long’s name has not been tied to the Falcons in a lot of drafts I have seen, but I like him here. The Falcons could use anyone on the offensive or defensive lines (again, Gholston is a temptation). I like Long because I think he is the best player available. I know they could go with Matt Ryan – but I think a lot of teams will be looking for the second tier of projected QB picks (Brohm, Flacco, Henne) at the end of the first, beginning of the second. A lot of teams with picks 25-32 will have plenty of teams looking to trade with them.

This is one of the special circumstances I noted above. The Falcons could look to take Ryan to put Vick behind them, but I think the right pick is Long.

4 – Oakland Raiders – Vernon Gholston – DE – The Ohio State University

Gholston is the pick here. The Raiders need a lot of help with their run defense (and – OK – a lot of other things) but I think they go with Gholston to firm up one of their few strengths, the pass rush.

I don’t believe the McFadden hype, and it is starting to die out now. I hope Mr. Davis has enough sense to know that running back is about the last thing he needs on his team (besides CB).

5 – Kansas City Chiefs – Ryan Clady – OT – Boise State

Booo! The Betbot sucks! I can hear it bleeping now!

This is my first real reach – but the Chiefs O-Line was a disaster last year. The Chiefs could go with Matt Ryan here also, but I think Clady can come in right away and start for the Chiefs. Branden Albert here? I don’t think so – pick 5 is just a bit too high for him.